French.

THIS is why I thought I was on track to becoming the quintessential American wannabe Parisian woman. 

1. The Count of Monte Cristo is my favorite book

2. I want the simple stripey wardrobe

3. I want the food

4. Audrey Hepburn in Paris When it Sizzles

5. Audrey Hepburn in Charade

6. Judy Dench in Chocolat

7. I want the effortlessly tousled hair

8. Les Miserables is my favorite story

9. Vacations in Provence and Nice

10. MACAROONS

THIS is why I changed my mind.

*Harvard Extension Intensive Elementary French.

Mondays and Thursdays 7:30-9:30.

Learning the French language this semester has been so difficult. I think about withdrawing from the course basically every day. In addition to the weird grammar construction, the fact that everything is gendered and therefore impossible to memorize, and the subject-verb inversions, I feel like an idiot.

There are two Harvard Professors in my class. Several students are learning French as a third language. One girl is enrolled because she just received a job offer in a Quebec.  One guy “used to know” French and just wants to sharpen his grammar.  

I wish it were easier for me to remember that I’m an English major with sixteen other credits and that my foreign language requirement doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. Normally I’m pretty good at compartmentalizing but it hasn’t worked with French. I can’t detach my inability to learn French from my supposed-to-be ability to do anything that I put my mind to. And now I’m starting my quarter-life crisis. This better work. 

Really, all of this is to say that I have officially crossed off reading the original French text of Les Miserables and The Count of Monte Cristo from my list of life dreams. I don’t know if I want to want to become the quintessential American wannabe French woman anymore.